Embracing Change Through Loving Well

posted in: Embrace Change, Loving Well

I want to start this off by dividing change into two categories. First is the change that we put forth in our lives, consciously and willingly. Secondly, there is the change that happens in which we do not take an active role in producing. I love it when I want to change something in my life and it comes to fruition, like a job/career move or remodeling my home, but when I got laid off from a job or my roof starts leaking, putting change in action which I have not started in the forefront, I can (and do) get upset about it.

Change Model

The easy part of the conversation here is the desired change and the change we put into motion in our lives. It can be so good and lovely and at the same time scary but we are in charge of it. We only have to deal with ourselves and our own emotions. How can we stay in this continual transformation process through all the emotions, positive and negative? Having compassion for ourselves when the times get difficult is a key part of this personal change process. Staying with the discomfort because the only way to the other side is “through”.

Let’s add the next element…relationship. We love the people that are in our lives and want to support them in their journey on this planet. Our lives revolve around relationship, we come together in relationship..familial, work, love, friendship and develop a desire to love and support the other in their own personal growth, which means change. One of my teachers, Marc Gafni, defines love as ‘The consistent commitment to the growth of the other through regular and spontaneous acts of giving”. How can we love the people in our lives when they are growing/changing and at the same time triggering something and threatening our egoistic self? It can be a difficult situation when we feel the other person pull away from the way things are and desire something different in our relationship. The story is changing, the path is rerouting and fear wants to move in.

let_life_have_youWhere does this fear come from? The fear shows up in both our personal desired changes and the changes that happen around us. Ego annihilation is knocking at the doorstep and we forget how much we want to love these people in our life when they are changing the parameters of our relational agreements. How quickly we forget what the definition of love meant (as mentioned above) when our self protection mechanism is activated because our ego wants to keep us safe from the potential loss of our true self. So we give in to protecting ourselves and forget our commitment to loving well. My friend Carrie said it perfectly…”The core to growth is really facing the idea that something can some how be annihilated..in truth..our perfected natural true self will never be touched…its amazing to grow with that”.

I invite everyone to embrace the change in our personal lives and in our relationships, and facing into the difficulty this change could bring. The earth and the human race on this planet is constantly changing and the only real option is to encourage, support and surrender to it. So face into your fear because you cannot lose the nature of your true self and, most importantly, remember your commitment to compassion and loving well!